Originally published in October 2019
A bartender once stopped me from ordering a creme brûlée while I was on vacation in Paris because, as he put it, he “couldn’t let me eat like a tourist.” I figured it couldn’t hurt to throw something as surefire as dessert to the wind, so I let him order for me. He returned with a plate of very mediocre canelés, and I’ve therefore still never enjoyed a creme brûlée in Paris. Which is probably precisely the place you want to be when you’re in the mood for a creme brûlée.
I don’t know why the word “tourist” is so dirty. I don’t know when “tourist” and “asshole” began to mean the same thing, or when “like a local” became the ideal way to travel. But it’s nonsense.
I’m not defending bad tourists. You know the type: People who leave home and go somewhere else only to expect it to be exactly like home. Those tourists are assholes, and I can understand the desire to disassociate from them. I also, in small part, blame Anthony Bourdain. He inspired everyone to travel like a local, but he never pointed out that he, himself, was entirely a tourist (an incredibly skilled one with producers and staff to make sure everything was awesome).
If I really wanted to explore a place “like a local,” I’d get a job there. I’d have rent and bills to pay, and a commute to survive every morning. When I travel, I never want to pretend I’m anything but the wide-eyed visitor I am. I’m too scared of what I’d miss. If the locals think I’m one of them, how on earth are they going to guide me to amazing sights and tastes that make them proud of where they’re from?
One of my favorite examples of this is Fortnum & Mason, a department store in London. Fortnum & Mason is crawling with tourists. Absolutely swimming with them. This isn’t a place Londoners casually pop into at the end of the workday for a tea restock. It’s where tourists load up on copious amounts of well-packaged items to gift to people back home. (I, for the record, kept all those purchases for myself, hoarding rose biscuits like a squirrel.) If you read up on how “touristy” this place is, you’d probably skip it. But regardless of that, you really need to go. It is awesome. My best friend and I spent an hour there, and when we left, she turned to me and said, “That was a good stop.” Yes, it was.
No one gives trophies for traveling “like a local.” If you want to go someplace you’ve never been to and skip everything it’s famous for, fine. But I think it’s a much better idea to acknowledge that you are, in fact, a tourist. You’re just one that travels well.
How does one travel well? I have some ideas.
Learn how to say “hello”
… and also “please,” “thank you,” and “how much?” in the language of the place you’re traveling to. Never start speaking in English to people unless you are in the United States, England, parts of Canada, or somewhere else where English is without question the language of choice. If you expect a place that doesn’t speak English to do what is most comfortable for you instead of what is life for them, you’re an asshole. Stop. Most people will make an effort to communicate with you, and people who do speak English might use it to reply. But people will be far more inclined to help you when you have made an effort to communicate with them respectfully first. Also, always start with “hello.” Don’t just launch into your wants and needs — come on, now.
Just don’t with the menu substitutions
You’re not here to eat like you eat at home, you’re here to find out what they eat in this place you’ve traveled to. If you have dietary restrictions, do your research ahead of time and only visit locations that have suitable menus, or are accustomed to accommodating people with your specific needs. Do not be annoying in restaurants. Remember that you’re there to let this place show you things you haven’t seen before.
Read a damn map
Before you leave for your trip, spend some time with a map. Any map. Google is fine. Review the city layout, especially in relation to where you are staying, and familiarize yourself with the general scheme of things. Bonus points if you get to know the public transit system, as well as the cost and mechanics of taking it. No one is expecting you to Magellan your group around like a pro, but showing up to a city with no idea how people get around in it is a huge waste of your time.
Be smart about attractions
Think through your decisions and what you’ll get out of them. You’re right, a local isn’t going to wait in line to go to the top of the Eiffel Tower. But you know what? A smart tourist isn’t, either. Because you know what you can’t see from the top of the Eiffel Tower? The damn Eiffel Tower. The view is amazing from the restaurant at the top of the Centre Pompidou, and if you buy a Paris Pass you can skip the lengthy line out front and go straight up. Spend the time you saved by not waiting in the Eiffel Tower line having a picnic in front of it. There are shops and markets all over the city just waiting to sell you bread, cheese, and really cheap wine. It’ll be great.
Relax
One thing bad travelers have in common is that they don’t do downtime well. They hustle from one activity to the next, never really just chilling out and enjoying their surroundings. Good travelers cut themselves a break. They sit in pubs, hang out on park benches, and sit in front of paintings for excessive amounts of time. They bring a book. They pause long enough to soak in their surroundings. If you’re a planner like me, plan your downtime into your schedule. I think you’ll find that some of your favorite vacation moments happen when not much is happening at all.
We need to give the word “tourist” the image rehab it deserves. Tourism is amazing. It means people are exploring the world. It means a place has additional revenue opportunities. There are some wonderful things to experience as a tourist, and I hope you experience them. I also hope you’re respectful of the people and places you’re visiting. We are so lucky. We can be tourists anywhere we want, and the only place we really have to behave like locals is at home.