A January Shopping List For Single Women
What is January, even? I feel like it’s an entire 31-day reset following the typical chaos and overabundance of activity during the holiday season. And yet, the best thing we can think of to do with January is assign it all of these incredibly archaic goals around “fitness” and weight loss and giving up drinking even though we’re not really sure why we’re doing that. Anyway, January 2021 is different, as any pandemic month is different, so this list won’t so much be items fit for the time of year, as it will be items that are on my mind at the moment.
What I do know about January is this: It’s the beginning of Valentine’s Day marketing heading our way and the time to understand that these messages are bullshit is NOW. Valentine’s Day is just a way for brands to make money, and for Lindor to make good chocolate. The time to stop letting societal messaging make you feel bad or ashamed for being single is right now.
Below, a few items tailored to single shoppers that do not, in any way, degrade us or reinforce old narratives that all we care about is wine, vibrators, body pillows in the shape of men’s arms (what the actual fuck), or cats. Fine, we care about cats, but not in the sad, consolation prize life way the world tells itself we do. My cat is damn good company whens he’s not being a total bitch, thank you.
Mini Chopper: I use this thing at least once a week. At least! It’s a great item to have around even if you own a full-size Cuisinart. Sometimes you don’t want the hassle of dealing with the large appliance when all you need to do is chop an onion real quick. I use it to make dressings, chop veggies, make small portions of pestos, pulverize various nuts, etc. It’s an incredibly useful gadget for the solo-portion cook.
Enter Whining by Fran Drescher: When I tell you I can’t put this book down…. OH MY GOD, FRAN DRESCHER EVERYBODY. I can’t recommend this memoir highly enough, it is one of the easiest and most entertaining reads I’ve ever purchased. This book was published in 1996 when I was 14 years old, and I actually sometimes love memoirs that aren’t the whole story. This is a really entertaining look at Fran’s life then, and now that I know what a captivating writer she (and probably her ghostwriter) are I can’t wait to dive into Cancer Schmancer as well. In this book, Fran is not single, she is married to her high school sweetheart who in 1996 she’d been with since she was 15 years old. The couple divorced in 1999 after her former husband came out as gay. My point tho, single women can read memoirs of married women and LOVE THEM. Feel free to grab a used copy, I know this is a pricey hardcover. I got mine used from a library so it’s got that delightfully asmr plastic around it which I secretly ADORE.
A New Hoodie: Sick of your loungewear yet? I sure am! Let’s not forget we’ve got a solid two or three more months of cold weather ahead of us (it doesn’t help to deny the truth, friends), and if you’d like something cute (and motivational!) to wear while we ride out the rest of this pandemic, check out all sorts of goodies from BLK. by Amina.
Strawberries & Cream Truffles: I’m not lying when I say this might be the most delicious confectionery I’ve ever put in my mouth. Purchased on a whim during a Target run (we’ve all done it), I don’t even know what I was expecting. What I do know is that as a child, strawberry flavor was ENTIRELY my shit. I don’t know why I ever walked away from strawberry, but we’re reconnecting, and I’m happy about it. Seriously, if they had any nutritional value whatsoever I’d live off these things.
Couch Drink Holder: I don’t know about you, but me personally? I’D LIKE TO STOP SPILLING SPARKLING WATER ALL OVER MY COUCH AND MYSELF. This drink holder can hold mugs, wine glasses, you name it, so that you don’t have to keep changing your clothes every time you want to take a sip of water while you read. Seriously if I do this one more time I will scream in to the abyss.
Caudalie Body Butter: I have never actually used a tub of body butter down to the bottom of the container before in my entire life, but I’ve used every drop of this stuff. My skin gets dry, and I mean cracks-open-dry in wintertime. I hate it so much, but it has required me to find solutions to the problem, and this stuff is one of my faves. After I shower, I slather this stuff all over myself, I don’t really rub it in much, and then I get dressed. I let the product absorb into my skin all day long and when I change into jammies in the evening, I feel moisturized and comfortable.
Thrive Market Membership: If you’ve never tried Thrive Market, I really encourage you to give it a peek. Thrive is where I get all of my nutrition-focused items that my local stores don’t have. It’s also SUCH a good destination for wellness-focused foods and supplements that are NOT overpriced and quite frankly nonsensically expensive. Thrive works on an annual membership fee, which is how they can keep their prices so low, and every single year I’ve saved the membership fee back and SO MUCH MORE. Everything is delivered to your door, so if you’re looking for healthier snacks, supplements, specific dietary needs, clean beauty, etc., I absolutely love Thrive. I’ve just renewed my membership for a third year! Some of my favorite products are actually from Thrive’s own in-house label, so don’t forget to check those out!
Support Chinatown Poster: I’m going to let this maker explain the story behind this poster, because I think her words are important to read:
“I created 282 line drawings of small businesses in Manhattan’s Chinatown during the pandemic as a love letter to a neighborhood that shaped my time in New York and ties to my Asian American identity. Manhattan’s Chinatown is a vibrant part of New York, but has been hit hard by COVID-19 with lack of adequate economic relief for small businesses, as well as a rise in anti-Asian racism. Part of the proceeds will go to Welcome to Chinatown’s Longevity Fund. They are fundraising $200,000 in grant distribution money for at-risk small businesses in Manhattan’s Chinatown. Artwork has been featured in Artsy.”
If you’d like to support one of New York’s most iconic neighborhoods while also purchasing some extremely cool art for your home, check this out!
Food Huggers: Single people know this intimately: Sometimes you only need half the avocado! That doesn’t mean that our unused produce halves deserve to go bad OR use up gnarly planet-ruining plastic. These little guys are dishwasher safe and help keep your produce halves ready for next time.
Activewear Set w/ Little Sleeves! My friend and two-time podcast guest Jess Wilkins introduced me to this activewear brand. I am SO SICK of workout tops always being tank tops. MAYBE I WANT SLEEVES OKAY? This activewear line is so wearable, I find that a lot of clothing in this vein can be super busy and themed. I also really love that J.Dow Fitness sells activewear as sets, because that’s how we wear them!
Lantern That Never Burns Out: Hello my name is Shani and I love survival shit. I don’t know if you know this about me, but I’m a fuckin’ prepper. Storms happen, power goes out, maybe you just like hanging out in the backyard at night. Whatever the reason, this lantern can run for 41 hours on high without needing new batteries. On low, it can last up to 60 DAYS. WHAT?
The Incense I Use: I burn a LOT of incense, and it’s always incense from P.F. Candle Co. I’ve tried literally all their scents and the three in this bundle are my faves. (Though Sandalwood Rose is also SO GOOD.) Typically I save the last little bit of wax in a Boy Smells candle, stick the incense into it, and put the candle on top of a decorative plate to catch any errant ashes. If you were to use a larger, maybe 3-wick candle after you burn it down, that would work really well too. This one in “Salt” from Hearth & Hand at Target is my next purchase.
Fake Rock: I’m not going to go too deeply into this, but getting locked out of my own home is one of my deepest darkest fears okay bye.
Pat McGrath Eye Duo: Look, sometimes I put on a full face of makeup at home just because I NEED TO. Pat McGrath is like glam’s fairy godmother, but I get it that the price tags can be a little intimidating. I love that this set includes smaller sizes of her beloved mascara and eyeliner, so you can try them and see if you’re ready to invest in full-size.
Rae Wellness: First of all, I approach any kind of wellness recommendation with extreme caution. I am not a doctor or wellness practitioner of any kind, I’m just a human being with a body that loves to betray her. While I’ve tried taking probiotics in the past, I’ve never taken pre + probiotics. I’ve waited five—yes five—months of taking pre + probiotics from Rae to tell you about them. I love them because they’re affordable and my tummy doesn’t hurt anymore. In prior times, I couldn’t even look at food without my stomach swelling to a size that looked like I’d swallowed a basketball. Now, I have more energy, digest more normally, but most of all I experience a significantly lower amount of stomach discomfort. Rae makes a TON of supplements, I am most familiar with their Pre + Probiotic which I can’t recommend enough, as well as their Sleep supplement that works extremely well. Not a huge fan of their Energy supplement, as I didn’t find it actually affected me in any way, but apart from that, I love the affordability and effectiveness of Rae.
Pro tip: If you sign up for a monthly shipment of a Rae supplement, order one extra bottle of it too. Sometimes I found that the next month’s bottle would arrive a day or two after I’d already run out, so I started my spare bottle so that I’m never behind schedule again. ALSO: Ordering directly from Rae is more affordable than buying them from Target, I’ve compared prices.
Get Rae (Shani highly recommends Pre + Probiotics and Sleep supplements!)
Step Ladder: I’m very serious about this, get a trusty step ladder. No more of this carefully balancing boxes on top of chairs like you’re playing some sick game of Tetris. if you fall, and you fall alone, shit can go AWRY. To quote Ghost, “Molly, you’re in danger girl.” Have a reliable ladder in the house and you’ll never have to Cirque du Soleil yourself again.
Peppermint Candles: I figured out something over the holiday season. Peppermint candles are the BEST way to get cooking smells out of your house, especially if you have a place with poor ventilation like me. I keep them burning for the duration of my cooking time, then for a little while after, and it’s like they completely neutralize the smells. One of my biggest quirks is that I cannot STAND to smell cooking smells one second longer than absolutely necessary, and if I can smell cooking smells in my bedroom I CANNOT SLEEP. Ugh, life.
Under Cabinet Jar Opener: I’m of two minds. One part of me doesn’t like the old trope about women not being able to open their own damned jars, and the other part of me JUST WANTS THE SALSA. There really have been some impossible situations in my home so I’m setting pride aside and giving myself access to my own goddamned groceries.
Vote Out Hate Bandana: AllVeryGoods is a personal favorite Etsy store of mine, I absolutely love their bandanas and I think they’d make incredible framed art for your home. This one stands out to me right now for being both a celebration of an election won, and also a reminder that there’s yet a lot of work to do. If you want one, grab one—they’re very limited edition!
Tool Kit: 100% of single women need a toolkit in their homes. 100%. I was gifted a small toolkit before I went away to college and I’ve sworn by keeping a full set of tools on hand at all times ever since. From furniture assembly to minor repairs all around the house, you will genuinely be amazed at what you can do on your own when you have even the most basic of tools.
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