My Mother's Static Cling Solution
Ever since I’ve been able to form long-term memories, I can remember Static Guard. A back-of-the-cabinet, probably slightly rusty can has been a permanent fixture in any household I’ve ever dwelled within, and this is because of my mother. My mother has many secrets and solutions for life problems of all kinds, but my absolute favorite one is Static Guard.
I didn’t always know she was wiser than the general population regarding this matter. I thought everyone knew about Static Guard, I thought everyone’s mother hosed them down in this stuff before going to synagogue on Friday nights, or church on Sunday mornings. But no! People are still googling how to get rid of static cling! My dear friends, this is how.
Static Guard is a spray can of magic that instantly removes static cling from clothing, linen, and…wait for it: hair. That’s right ladies. Spray static guard on your brush, brush your hair with that brush, and bask in the glory of actual sorcery. When I say instant removal of static cling, I frikkin mean it. We are approaching winter, our heaters have been deployed to active duty. Static cling is coming, and this is the year she won’t win.
I have no idea what Static Guard is made of. There is a “flammable/eye irritant” warning on the can. (But really, when you think about it, don’t spray most things into your eye.) It’s definitely not going to win any “green” awards any time soon, and I can’t tell you how few shits I give about that. This stuff works, it works well, and my sweaters I would be on very different terms without it.
My mother, I guarantee you, has a can of this under her bathroom sink as we speak. Because the apple hasn’t fallen far from the life-hacking tree, so do I. Mom is even more well-equipped than I, because if I texted her right now and asked her to show me her travel size can too, she’d have to look no further than the center console of her car.
We are a static-free family, and always have been, thanks to the brilliance of one woman, and the magic of one can.
Buy Static Guard on Amazon. (This one comes with a travel-sized spray!)
